The Lost Episodes

Well, well, well, ain't that swell. I'm trying to write a blog at least every other day this week. I think it's sort of therapeutic. It's like talking to a counselor except instead I get to talk to everyone I know all at once about my dirty laundry and let them judge me in the secret quietness of their own hearts.

Jade just went to the bedroom and said, "my dog gave me an STD". I think she was talking to herself so I'm not really sure what to make of that or what that makes of me. We had a slapping contest today. Some of you may think that sounds trashy. That's okay. Jade was raised in a trailer so she's used to males drinking beer and beating her up, usually in the presence of their mullet.

We were arguing over who does more work for the others business and she said that she wanted to slap me and I took it there and laid it on her while she was driving......after I yanked the steering wheel out from under her hands. She acted appalled, like she hadn't suggested the exact same thing a moment ago and then slapped me, right while she was driving. I was appalled. She told me she wanted to slap me again. I just screamed TRUCE because I was afraid.

My friend Scott got a job shooting and editing Denzel Washington's birthday surprise. I guess a bunch of his friends are putting together a deal where they all reenact scenes from movies he's been in. It sounds pretty cool. For those of you completely out of touch with culture, I've included some photos of D.W.:



Here he is just lookin' good.



Here he is playing a general in war.



Here he is playing Bob Marley.



I just finished watching The Foot Fist Way - this movie about Tae Kwan Do. It was pretty good. Here's the trailer:



Jade is in the other room reading my webisodes - the ones I've been frigging SLAVING over for the last month and there is absolutely NO laughter coming from in there, not even a frigging giggle and I'm thinking that project is probably scrapped.

I finished that Behind-the-Scenes thing for Weezer and the photog - OHHH!! A LAUGH!!!! - maybe there's effin'-A hope after all......

....anyway, the photographer was really stoked about them (www.seanmurphyphoto.com). He sent it right over to the bands manager because he said he was going to just crap his pants when he saw it. That's pretty cool. Maybe Rivers Cuomo will see my piece and be so utterly and insanely impressed he will specifically request that I edit their - ANOTHER LAUGH!!!!!! - next music video.

Boners.


I want to get a sketch book and start drawing but lately whenever I start to doodle I just keep drawing the same things over and over again - there's this guy in a suit with a crow's head and a super long beak, a mammoth strong man and a robot with a little wheel instead of a body. Sometimes I wish I could draw - REALLY draw. Like bust a move. I went to high school with this kid named Steve Epp (Ep?) who could draw. So envious. My brother Jared can draw and it sickens me because he's so frigging incredible. He paints and doesn't know what to do with any of it. I tell him he should paint something, sign it (he signs them JxRxD) and then just set them on the street (he lives in Bozeman, Montana so there's a BIT of an art community happening) and just let people find them and take them home. People would say, "Oh, you found a JARED!!!??? I'm always looking....."

We're spending our days seeking out investors and attempting to set up an LLC and an escrow account for the film. Some people say you should have investors BEFORE you set up an LLC, some say after. I don't think anyone knows fer sher.

That's it. Nothing else to report on....

jbro


.....okay, as I was pasting in photos for this stupid thing, Jade let me know that she has finished the web series and probably what's going to happen is that we'll be passing on this little prospect, so if anybody is looking for an eight episode web series that is open to a tiny rewrite (or maybe you'll LOVE it and it's just a difference in taste) you're more than welcome to have these.

F me runnin'.